How To Survive Being High At Work

Everyone loves a wake and bake. Stoners with useless jobs often blaze to start their work day. Stoners with great jobs blaze before work too. Then there are those who get gunned on their lunch break too. If you're a professional pothead you can handle your marijuana high at your straight job. Here are some tips for tokers who want to blaze during office hours. Feel free to add more.

Don't be afraid your boss will notice.

Or that you'll be less productive.

1. Toke Early: Vaporize, rip a bong or smoke a joint well before you leave for work. Being high during rush hour makes the morning commute oh so much better. I'd suggest smoking before you even get in the shower, then dropping some Visine afterwards. Showers are good for taking off some of the lethargic effect of marijuana. You will also ensure you don't smell like weed.

2. Get to Work on Time: I'm sure this seems simple but it's also important. If you get to work late your going to draw more attention to yourself. Anyway you might be wondering why you even need to be told this. The answer is because time looses meaning under the influence of marijuana and unless you pay extra attention to it you could fuck up.

3. Making Conversation: This, to some people, is the hardest part of being high. Though, it shouldn't be. There's just one thing you have to remember when dealing with other people, nobody can tell your high, unless you let them know. The key to being a successful stoned conversant is confidence and focus. Don't try to hide, or look away from people around you. Engage them enthusiastically.

4. Munchies: Once your at work and settled in your still going to have to deal with regular high stuff. All I have to say about snack selection is, you should choose something soft and plentiful. Like gummy bears, or grapes for the health nuts.

5. Lunch: I don't need to tell you how or where to eat lunch. Though I'd suggest this is a good time to smoke another bowl. Bring gum, Visine, and some sort of cologne, perfume, or body spray.

6. Work: This guide isn't just for office workers. No, this is for every worker. From baristas to garbage collectors. Now I can't believe I'm just mentioning this, but not all jobs can be done while high. I'm not going to say which ones because I trust you to make that decision correctly. Or not, and learn from yor mistake.